


Until We Go Down

by DarkBlueOwl



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Aaron finds a soft spot for Neil, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Neil "talks" to bee, Protective Andrew Minyard, past trauma, short periods of amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-29 07:34:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17803745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkBlueOwl/pseuds/DarkBlueOwl
Summary: Where all of Neil's trama catches up to him. He doesn't recognize anyone at first and then he remembers Andrew and only Andrew.





	Until We Go Down

**Author's Note:**

> I don't have any trigger warnings. If you have concerns about the trauma - Neil goes into Episodes where he acts like a child and forgets nearly everyone except Andrew, when he wakes up out of the episode he has a severe headache and no memory of the episode. 
> 
> Otherwise, I hope you enjoy!

Andrew woke up quickly, he listened another second as he heard whimpering. He moved out of his bed, flipping on the light he looked at Neil’s bed. Neil was curled in on himself, shaking.  
“Mom? Mommy” he spoke, his voice was quiet and it trembled.

“Neil” Neil blinked at him, before smiling. Andrew looked for any type of head injury. 

“Andrew,” he said happily, “Where's mommy?” he asked. Andrew stared at him, Neil stared back. “Andrew what's wrong?” he asked, his voice was slurred the way a child was when they were unfamiliar with the words. 

“Fuck,” Andrew said, standing up and away from the bed. “Kevin get up” Andrew said, Kevin didn't move. Andrew pulled him out of his bed, Kevin woke up and shifted to stop his body from crashing onto the floor. Kevin crashed anyway and glared at Andrew. “What the fuck?”

“Andrew?” Kevin sat up looking at Neil’s bed in confusion. Neil's tone had taken on a desperate tone. “Andrew,” he said again. 

“What wrong with him?” Kevin asked, standing up and moving closer to the bed. 

“Andrew!” Neil yelled. Andrew moved in between Kevin with Neil sitting on the edge of his bed. Neil’s hand shook as he reached out to Andrew. Andrew gave him his hand, Neil held it tightly. Andrew turned back to Kevin. 

“Call Wymack and Bee tell them something is wrong with Neil,” Andrew told him, Kevin snatched his phone up and left the room. 

“Andrew? My head hurts” Neil said, rubbing at his eyes. 

“Did you hit it?” Andrew asked Neil shook his head. “Are you sure?” Andrew’s voice was tight, he nodded. Andrew crossed his arms, his hand still clutched in Neil’s, he waited for Kevin to do his job. Neil had asked twice more where his mother was. It was too much longer when he could hear when they arrived, they asked Kevin questions he couldn't answer. Waymack was the first one in the room, Neil pulled on Andrew’s hand as he shook. 

“What trouble did Josten get himself into now?” he asked, his voice stern. Bee moved around him into the room.  
She scanned her eyes over Neil as much as she could get from her angle and the small space that Andrew allowed them to see. “Andrew, what's going on?” She asked. 

“Fuck if I know”  
Wymack shifted his body, “Well what the fuck are we here for?”  
Neil whimpered at his tone, trying to pull Andrew closer. “Andrew” he whispered. 

“Oh,” Bee said bending down to look at Neil who was hiding his face in his knees. 

“How old are you?” she asked quietly, Neil carefully looked up at her then to Andrew who gave a short nod. “Twelve,” He said. 

“What grade are you in?”He frowned and thought about it, before holding up 1 finger. “1st grade?” Neil nodded. 

“Can you tell me your name?” Bee asked.

“Nathaniel”

“What the fuck is going on?” Wymack asked, taking a step back when Andrew glared at him.  
Bee stood up, giving Neil more space. “Well, it's not unexpected in trauma patients to regress to a time they felt safer. After what he’s been through this kind of thing could be considered normal”

“When will it stop?” Andrew asked, trying to tug his hand out of Neil’s tight grip. Neil didn't let go instead he pulled his closer causing Andrew to drop his arms to his sides.  
“That's hard to tell, It differs for everyone. It could be an hour, a day, weeks”

Andrew looked back to Neil who was staring at him, he grinned brightly when he noticed Andrew looking at him.  
Neil blinked and yawned, rubbing at his face with his free hand, “Andrew I'm tired”.  
“Then go to bed”

“Okay,” Neil let Andrew’s hand go, turning he snuggled down in his bed.  
Andrew followed Waymack and Bee out of their room. Andrew shut the door, Kevin was standing in the kitchen, a cup of coffee in his hands. 

“Was there any sort of a trigger? Many cases have a trigger”

“No,” Andrew said, he remembered every anniversary, birthday, death day. Any day that would hold significance to Neil and today was not one of them. 

“Ow, what the fuck” They all turned back to the open bedroom door and Neil leaning on the doorway of the bedroom. “Did I take a ball to the head without my helmet?” He asked, squinting at the other occupants. “What's going on? Did someone die again?”

No one spoke up, no one sure if they wanted to explain the strange situation.  
“Shut up,” Andrew said, Neil nodded thinking it was aimed at him. The rest of the room knew it was for them. 

Andrew had watched Neil for a week, he didn’t remember what happened and he didn’t show any signs of it happening again. Waymack had pushed Neil to see Bee but he had refused. One week and two days later Andrew woke up to whimpering and another regressed Neil. Neil had clung to him and hid from Kevin. The same thing had occurred, after he left Neil to sleep he woke up normal, with a bad headache. 

The fourth time it happened Neil didn't wake up normal after his nap. It was a bit later in the day since it was Sunday and he carefully walked out as Aaron and Nicky were talking to Kevin. Andrew was in the kitchen making food. Neil saw Nicky notice him and when he spoke Neil ran to Aaron hiding behind him. Neil held onto Aarons shirt tightly shaking as he hid his head behind his back.  
Aaron was stiff as he stared at Nicky in shock. 

“Neil,” Andrew said, Neil didn’t move. “Nathaniel” Neil looked up at Andrew in confusion. 

“Andrew?” Neil asked Andrew nodded. Neil ran to him, hiding behind him as he looked at Aaron who turned around to stare at them like they were crazy.  
Nicky was too shocked and confused to speak, Andrew took as much pleasure as he could in that, which wasn't a lot. 

“Two Andrews” Neil said happily. Smiling at Aaron, his smile drooped, “Andrew my head hurts I want to sleep” Andrew lead him back to his bed.  
When he returned to the living room he threatened Aaron and Nicky into silence, while not answering any of their questions. 

The seventh time it happened, was on a Saturday. Neil was taking a nap before the foxes started a movie together. Andrew was with Kevin getting alcohol when Neil woke up. Neil carefully moved around the room, then out to the bigger room. He looked everywhere for Andrew. Neil blinked at the front door, he stepped closer to it carefully opening it he looked into the empty hall. He was going to call for Andrew when he came up the stairs with a girl. Neil looked at her, he shrank back. Andrew got closer and Neil slowly moved further out until he was just outside the door and in the hallway. 

“Hey Neil, come on” Neil looked the other voice, he whimpered and ran for Andrew.  
“Andrew!” He yelled jumping onto Aaron. Neil buried his head into his chest, wrapping his legs around Andrew’s middle, his arms around his neck. Neil whimpered into his neck, his body shaking in fear.  
“Fuck” Aaron groaned, reluctantly his arms held him up. One by one the Foxes filled up the hallway.  
“What is going on?” Renee asked.  
“Holy shit” Dan all but yelled.  
“I’m taking pictures,” Allison said, her phone already out.  
“You owe me money,” Matt said.  
Neil tightened his grip around Aaron at all the voices.  
“Neil Neil wait Nathaniel” Aaron tried, he hated Neil but he couldn’t do anything when he acted like a child. “Andrew,” Neil said, his lips against Aaron’s neck. Aaron tightened his fists. Glaring at the other foxes who were constantly taking pictures. Aaron was trying to get his phone out of his pocket to call Andrew when he heard his voice.  
“Nathaniel” Neil looked up and smiled. “Andrew!” He yelled, he didn’t release Aaron though. “Get down from him,” Andrew said his voice deadly but Neil did as he was told and ran for Andrew, he gave Kevin a suspicious look. Andrew stopped Neil from grabbing him. Neil blinked innocently at him, grinning happily. Andrew took his hand and walked back towards the group. Neil stopped hiding behind Andrew’s back. “Scary,” He said. “Scary man”  
“Leave, Kevin you explain,” he said, Kevin moved past him, everyone else went into the girls’ room. Andrew waited till they were gone before he pulled Neil back in their room and put him to bed.  
An hour later he woke up normal with a massive headache.  
Three hours later he was staring at himself wrapped around Aaron. Katelyn was staring at them in shock. Neil couldn’t remember anything like this ever happening.  
“So what happens in these- what are they?”  
“Episodes” Andrew supplied for him.  
“Mostly you cling to Andrew until you get tired and fall asleep,” Nicky said, Neil looked at Andrew he was smoking next to the window. Since he didn’t deny it or threaten Nicky it must be the truth. “Is that why I’ve been getting these headaches?”  
“Yeah, you always have one when your normal again” Kevin added. “This better not affect the games”  
“Shut up Kevin,” Aaron said, surprising Neil. Aaron didn’t look at him, Neil looked back to the photo before letting the screen go black.  
Neil set the phone down, his eyes shifting to each of them. “So is something wrong with my head?”  
“What isn't wrong with it?” Kevin muttered.  
“Is it a disease?”  
“No, you just need to see Bee” Andrew answered.  
“No,” Neil said, Andrew gave a small shrug.  
“Then you're on the bench if you don’t get this fixed. You're not playing” Kevin said. Neil glared at him.  
Something in him pushed forward what he had been pushing down, Neil let the glare slide into something neutral. “I promised the Moriamayas both of our lives. If I don’t play, we both die” Neil shrugged. “I’ve already lived longer than I thought I would, what about you Kevin?” Kevin was struck, he was looking at Neil in horror.  
Neil heard Nicky swear in German, he shifted his eyes to Andrew who was staring at him. Neil didn’t look long enough to decipher it. “I’m going to take a shower,” He said, his voice calmer than a second before.  
Neil stood under the water long after it went cold, his head lightly pounded with a headache. He shut the water off but didn’t move. He had no idea what was wrong with him, he had been having nightmares but now he couldn’t even remember going to bed. He only remembered waking up to headaches. He could deal with physical pain, mental was beyond his reach.  
He turned when the door opened, Andrew leaned against the sink. “Go see Bee,” Andrew said. Neil closed his eyes, it was the last person and place he wanted to go to. Neil was terrified of what he would find there. He knew Andrew wasn’t making a suggestion, for once Neil was considering it. 

Neil had several reservations about seeing Bee and sitting in her office refusing to say anything wasn’t helping, even though he had been doing it for the last 36 minutes.  
“I understand that this is difficult, from what I’ve seen of these episodes I believe you need to deal with the trauma in healthier ways. I was glad to see that you saw Andrew as a safe person” Bee continued on about his need for another release other than Exy. He needed a mental release as well as a physical one. He didn’t think he needed it, but he wasn’t here for his own opinion. She was already giving him a list of techniques to try and work on. Neil took it and quickly left before the end of his time. 

Neil woke up, he was alone, he searched everywhere for Andrew. The room was empty, the hallway beyond it was also empty. Instead of Andrew, his father walked up the stairs and he was in a burning car. The car was on fire and he struggled to climb out, the seatbelt held him in. He turned seeing Andrew’s body nearly burnt to ash, he struggled more and then he was running, street lights flickered around him.  
Neil opened his eyes to the near darkness of his room. It had been weeks since he remembered a nightmare. Neil slipped out of bed and out of the room. He headed up the stairs to the roof. The sky was still dark with predawn, soon the sun would be rising and the sky would be lit with sunlight. Neil made his way to the edge, each moment he was here he was thankful.  
His past was worse than nightmares, he had scars to prove it. The foxes were a safe haven, a nice reprieve from his life before. He had a place where he belonged, a place that didn't make him change, didn't need him to hide. Neil heard the roof door open, there wasn't a need for him to turn around to know it was Andrew.  
Andrew had been far more than he could ask for. Andrew was everything he was lacking in the past. Death was still a possibility if his Exy career ended a minute too early. It didn't hold the same pressure his father or Riko held. His deal didn't loom over his shoulder, instead, it was sitting back waiting. It was easier to forget, he could forget lots of things. Things his mother had constantly drilled into him, faces of people he met traveling, anything Nicky says. He didn't want to forget his days here though, he didn't want to forget Andrew. He didn't want to forget anything about Andrew or his fox family. These are things he wants to cherish. Neil breathed in the smell of smoke, his thoughts didn't drift to his mother, they stayed firmly on Andrew. The ideas from his nightmare floated in his mind.  
“Tell me about the Episodes,” Neil said, apart from the small conversation he had with Nicky and Kevin he had avoided all talk of them. He didn't want to know how Nathanial saw the world.  
“What do you want to know?”  
“Nothing, everything,” Neil said. It was quiet while Andrew smoked. Their positions were strange, Neil was standing near the edge, Andrew was feet behind him. Neil wanted to change it, to sit how they usually did but he couldn't get his body to move.  
“At first you asked for your mother, eventually that stopped. You can remember some things, not always. You never remember anyone but me, you can now tell the difference between Aaron and myself.”  
“What about that day I jumped on him?”  
“You knew there was a difference but since Boyd scared you, you weren't being observant”  
“How long am I in them?”  
“Depends, sometimes a few minutes or a few hours. The shortest was 5 minutes the longest was 6 hours and 3 minutes. Usually, you wake up in them and when you sleep again you wake up normal with a headache”  
Neil took a step away from the edge, turning to face Andrew. Andrew looked the same way as always with a long sleeve black shirt, instead of jeans he was in black sweatpants.  
“What if they never go away?” Neil asked he knew Andrew would understand the meaning. What if it got worse, what if it was more frequent, would Andrew leave him?  
“102%” Andrew commented, “I’m going back to bed” Andrew didn't move to make good on the statement. Neil moved forward standing in front of Andrew.  
“I always remember you?” Neil asked Andrew gave a quick short nod. Neil smiled before Andrew could tell him to quit smiling at him he leaned in waiting for Andrews whispered yes before pushing forward. 

Neil bounced happily in the bean bag chair, as he waited for Andrew to cook him waffles. He smiled brightly when Andrew turned around to look at him. The toaster popped out the waffles, Neil clapped his hands. He greedily reached out for them as Andrew walked out of the kitchen towards him. Andrew held them above his head, Neil pouted. “Andrew I want waffles”  
Andrew didn't move, he continued to stare at Neil. “Andrew stops being mean” Neil whined, Andrew lowered the plate gaining a bright grin before he happily started eating. Andrew dropped into the bean bag chair next to him, watching him. Neil hummed happily as he ate, he smiled every time he looked at Andrew. “Andrew smile,” Neil said, Andrew lifted an eyebrow.  
“No Andrew, smile with your mouth not your eyebrows silly” Neil giggled, he poked the left side of Andrew’s mouth. “Smile here.” Andrew wiped away the sticky syrup from his face.  
Neil waited, munching and eating waffles his eyes flickered over his face. “Staring,” Andrew said. “You’re staring,” Neil said back, sticking his tongue out. Andrew smiled, Neil dropped his plate in his excitement. Neil rushed forward wrapping his arms around Andrew’s neck. “I love you, Andrew, you’re pretty when you smile” Andrew sat stiffly in his seat, taking a deep breath he slowly relaxed and then Neil was pulling away frowning at the mess he created.  
It took another hour before Neil took a nap and woke up normal. “What did I do this time?” Neil asked Andrew was smoking by the window.  
It was a few seconds before Andrew responded, “Ate waffles”.

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to say concerning the episodes. My niece actually went through a time where this happened to her. It wasn't a trauma that caused it, she had just gotten sick and long story short it's actually based off of her symptoms and how she used to act. They would vary in length, she could usually only recognize family and even then it was only a few of us. She's better now and they don't happen anymore and I told her I was writing this and she thought it was awesome. 
> 
> I hope you liked it, Kudos and Comments appreciated!


End file.
